


Shell's Kitchen Family Restaurant

by mokayno



Series: My Stupid AU [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cute, Domestic, Family, Fluff, M/M, just them having a good time really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 08:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1462168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mokayno/pseuds/mokayno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a special night for John and his family, and the best way to celebrate is a big dinner at their favorite Family Restaurant. Also, crayons are involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shell's Kitchen Family Restaurant

**Author's Note:**

> Yah, I've been dead on here for a long time. Sorry about that. Four jobs is kind of a lot to work around, haha. Anyway, I feel bad about not being able to post anything and falling off the face of the earth. So, today on such a special day, I've decided to dig out some ancient thing I wrote back in October. I never really planned on posting it, but what good is it doing sitting in my folders? Anyway, hope you enjoy and the fluff doesn't kill you all. :)

It’s a school night, so normally the kids should be in bed by now. But, tonight was a special night, and special nights like this basically called for driving the hour long drive to the special restaurant. It was pretty much code by now; when something special or extraordinary happened you all gathered into the car and drove out to the restaurant.

It wasn’t a fancy restaurant where you had to dress up in a penguin suit, and have a shit ton of money just to get through the door. And, it sure as hell wasn’t in a very convenient area for you guys, seeing as it was on the other side of town. But, this place was special to you all.

How you had found the restaurant was really nothing more than a random happenstance. It had been the night that Nikki was on his way into the world. Casey was just three at the time, and for some reason under the impression that you and Dave were going to sell her to the Orphanage once Nikki came. You still haven’t figured out if it was Dirk or possibly one of her cousins that had told her this.

Either way, she wouldn’t stop crying that night. In the hopes of easing her nerves you’d all stopped in at the restaurant on the way to the hospital. Its flashing sign had read ‘Shell’s Kitchen Family Restaurant’. The name was a little disconcerting, but seeing as no other place was open and it had said family restaurant in the name you figured why not. It couldn’t be worse than the time Jake had accidentally taken Casey into a strip club. That was a story for another time though.

Ever since that night, it had become the family special get together place. Someone got a job promotion? Let’s go to Shell’s Kitchen! Nikki said his first words? Shell’s Kitchen! Casey got good grades? Where we going? Shell’s Kitchen. The family had come up with a saying to go along with it. Actually, you had. Dave thought it was lame, but the kids loved it. And Dave totally did too. Basically, whenever someone came home shouting, “I’ve got good news!” whoever was home and had heard would shout back, “Oh SHELL no!” You were brilliant, what could you say?

When Casey had come bouncing in through the door after school with a grin so wide it was eating her face, you almost instinctively knew what was to come next. She ran through the door, and straight to the kitchen where you were chopping up celery for Nikkis snack the next day.

“Papa! Papa, guess what!” she said from the doorway as she swayed back and forth as if the information she was withholding couldn’t be contained much longer.

You looked up from the cutting board and grinned over at her, “Hmm...Let me guess. The school finally heard you out and is changing their mascot to a unicorn?” you asked playfully.

She giggled then swayed to one side, “Nooooooo. Something even better.”

“Oh really? What the shell could be better than unicorns, Casey?” you really couldn’t resist.

Her eyes had grown wide and she pouted a little at you, “Not yet! I didn’t say yet!”

You chuckled then walked over to her, kneeling down in front of her. You took her hands in yours and swung them side to side, “What the shell could be the cause of this giant grin that’s about to eat your face?”

She took her hands out of yours then covered your mouth with them, almost glaring at you she demanded, “Shhhh!! Let me tell first!!”

You licked her hands, then agreed you’d stop until she told you the news. Immediately, her grin was back in place.

“Well, Papa, you know how all the past two weeks I had been working extra super hard on mezmerizing all of those lines for the school play cuz I really wanted to get the lead and stuff?” She asked quickly.

You nodded.

She jumped up and down as she screeched out, “I got the lead! I got the lead! I got the lead!”

You picked her up in a bear hug as you yelled out, “Oh SHELL no!”

That’s how you ended up here at the restaurant.

“And here are the color on placemats for the kids.” the waitress leans across the table placing the pieces of blank paper in front of the kids. She reaches into her little waitress apron, and pulls out a box of crayons, “Can’t forget these! They’re the most important part.”

You’d been watching Dave the whole time, and he’d been watching the waitress. Well, not so much the waitress herself as the paper and crayons she’d just distributed to the kids. You know he’s waiting for her to give him his. You guys came here enough that pretty much all the employees knew to bring out three color on placemats. This girl must be new, seeing as you don’t really recognize her.

“Is there anything else I can get for you guys?” she smiles at you all, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. The smile of someone who’d been doing it for a few hours now and would like to just go home without any trouble.

You’re watching Dave, so you see as he sits up and clears his throat. The waitress turns to look at him, the smile sinking ever so slightly.

He stares at her through his sunglasses and smirks a little, “Hey yah, I noticed that you gave my kids some color on placemats and crayons.”

Her smile drops a little again, “Yes it’s part of the restaurants whole thing here. If it’s a problem I can just…” she leans over, reaching for Caseys placemat.

Dave waves her off, “No no, that’s not it. It’s just we come here a lot, you see,” he sort of turns to look over the booth seat he’s sitting on as if he could get someone else to bring him his crayons, “And it’s kind of become a thing where they bring out three instead of the two, if you know what I mean.” He turns back around and looks back at the waitress.

Her smile drops completely, “Sir. It’s against company policy for me to hand out color on placemats to anyone over the age of 10.”

He raises an eyebrow at her and chuckles softly, “You’re new here, aren’t you?” The girl looks taken aback at that, “Listen I promise you, go talk to anyone who’s been working here longer than a week. Tell ‘em it’s for Dave,” he nods at her, “they know who I am.”

The waitress looks as if she’s going to argue but Dave cuts in, “Seriously I don’t have all day. Look Nikki’s already drawn a rocketship. I’m falling behind in the race.”

She narrows her eyes at Dave, “I’ll be right back,” she turns to you, “ And what about you, sir, would you like one as well?”

You wave her off and grin, “Oh no thanks. I’m the judge!”

She grins back with her fake smile before turning on her heel and marching off.

Dave looks over at you as he leans across the table, “We are so knocking a nickel off her tip.”

You roll your eyes and kick him gently under the table, “3 cents because she was rude as hell. Otherwise, she’s just doing her job, and I bet she’s had a long day.”

“Yah, alright I guess that’s fair,” he says and then leans over to Casey sitting next to him.

She covers her paper and glares up at him, “No peeking you cheater pumpkin eater!”

Five minutes later, one of your regular waiters walks up with a paper placemat and a box of crayons for Dave. He spews out a million different kinds of apologies, explaining how the girl was new. You wave him off with a grin and a ‘It’s no problem really’. Dave takes the paper and gets right to work, attempting to make up for lost time.

You lean over and look at Nikki’s drawing. A rocketship was the usual for the last couple months. His newest obsession of course being the great big galaxy above. You lean over the table a little and get a peek at Casey’s drawing. Hers changes more often than Nikkis does these days. Today her picture features Jack’s giant beanstalk with a giant foot coming out of the clouds. You suspect it has to do with her recent casting in the play.

You look between your two kids for a while. Both of them concentrating on the paper before them. Nikki had moved on from drawing the rocketship itself to now drawing the planet the rocketship was exploring today. You suspect that it’s possibly Jupiter or Mars judging by the red crayon he picks up. Casey was diligently coloring the beanstalk, her tongue poking out the side of her mouth as she concentrates.

You peak over at Dave’s drawing and do your best to contain the burst of laughter you feel bubbling in your chest. Dave had told you in secret that his goal was to fit as many dicks into a picture as he could without making them look like dicks. One time, Casey had made the mistake of peeking at his paper. She’d asked him what he was drawing to which he casually answered ‘flowers’. You had a hard time explaining to the school the next day why her flowers suddenly looked extremely phallic.

This, of course, is where the ‘no peeking’ rule had come into place. The rules of the game were they had until the main meals arrived to draw whatever they wanted. After the meal came, you all had to eat until everything was off your plate. Then, you would judge the drawings to see who’s would be the winner. You always flip flopped between Nikki or Casey, and on special occasions Dave would win. He never minded. The winner would be able to get either an extra topping on their ice cream sundae, or the supreme fudge brownie super sundae (size small).

When you took the drawings home, you’d hang them on the fridge. They’d stay there until the next time the family came back to the restaurant. The kids always looked proudly at their work as they hung it up on the fridge. They knew that even if it didn’t win in the restaurant, if it made it to the fridge it was definitely amazing.

Not long after, the waitress arrives with her arms full the the brim with food. She sets the daily special down in front of you. Today it’s lasagna. Dave got his usual of fried chicken with a heavy serving of mashed potatoes. The kids stared wide eyed at the giant plate of chicken nuggets placed between them.

“Now you guys have to divide them up evenly,” you say to them as you cut into your lasagna.

“Yes Papa,” they respond in unison.

The meal goes by without a hitch. By the time it’s over you’re feeling full and sleepy. Your legs are spread out under the table, feet resting on Dave’s lap. He rubs his belly, patting it a little for added effect.

“Ugh, John I’m so full I think I’m going to explode,” he groans.

“That’s because you’re old, dear,” you respond and poke his side with your foot.

He sticks his tongue out at you, “Not so young yourself, darlin'.”

Nikki tugs on your sleeve, and holds out his drawing to you. He looks up at you with big eyes mumbling softly, “Papa are you gonna do the judgin’?”

You ruffle his hair and grin at him, “Of course I am!” You take his picture and hold it out in front of you, “A spaceship? What an unexpected surprise we have here,” you tilt it a little, “and the details on the martians face and stars are phenomenal Nikki. But, I can’t tell. Is this Mars or Jupiter?”

“is uupiter,” he responds, smiling shyly up at you.

“Jupiter?” you look back at the drawing, “Well I’ll be, it really is Jupiter. This is amazing Nikki.”

You hand it back to him and pull him close to your side. He snuggles against your side squishing his drawing a little between you, yawning softly. “Thank you, Papa.” he mumbles.

You reach across the table and Casey hands you hers, “Now let’s see what Casey has for us today.” You look down at the drawing. “Ah-ha! This is Jack and the Beanstalk! Now, where in the world have I seen this before?” You pretend to look thoughtfully at the drawing.

Casey sighs at you, “It’s the name of the play I’m in, Papa, did you forget already?”

You grin over at her, “Shell no I didn’t,” then you look back at the drawing, “The detail on this giants foot, sweetie, is so cool. Is that a wart on his foot? Man, I’m disgusted just looking at it. I would definitely not want to tussle with this guy.” She giggles and looks over at Dave who’s grinning at you. “And, is this a little Casey I see at the bottom of the beanstalk? Will she slay the ugly giant foot? I’m on the edge of my seat. I need to know,” you look over at her again.

She nods enthusiastically, “Shell yes I will!”

You hand her drawing back to her, before looking at Dave. He raises an eyebrow at you, and you raise yours back at him.

“Cough it up, I need to see your drawing to judge it.”

Dave smirks at you, “I forfeit my drawing this time seeing as I got a late start.”

You chuckle at that, “Alright, but you’re still bringing it home.”

He rolls his eyes at you, having had taken his sunglasses off during dinner. It was another rule, one you’d had to break him into over a long process of pouting and slight arguing. But, you’d won and here he was with his bare naked eyes which happened to be looking at your son that was squished against your side.

“Let me guess, he fell asleep,” you ask without even looking down.

Dave looks up at you and nods before chuckling softly, “Poor guy didn’t even make it to dessert.”

“Well, I guess that means the winner by default is Casey! Dearest Casey, what does it feel like to be the winner of today’s art competition? What will you do? How will you take your reward?” you ask in a fake announcer voice.

She grins at you widely, the gap in her teeth noticeable in this moment, “Why good sir, I believe I will get a slice of apple pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top,” she replies in the most proper voice she can muster.

Dave wraps his arm around her shoulders and drags her to his side. He squishes her, and kisses the top of her head, “Just like her Daddy. An apple fanatic.”

You smile at them and look down at Nikki squished into your side. You wrap your arm around him, and gently pry the paper out from between the two of you. He starts snoring softly as he shifts into a more comfortable position.

It's not long before the waitress stops by your table again. She asks if she could get you guys anything else, to which Casey quickly exclaims her dessert order. Even explaining to the lady all about how she'd won dessert, and that she was going to be famous someday.

Casey eats her apple pie slowly, whether from lack of an appetite or from how late the time has gotten is uncertain. When asked if she'll be able to finish it all, she proclaims that she's not a baby anymore so her stomach can definitely hold lots more food. You and Dave share a glance at that, both silently agreeing not to argue with her.

Twenty minutes later, the bill is paid and you've got Nikki in your arms snoring against your shoulder as you walk out the front doors. Dave is in a similar position with Casey; though she's clung to his back, head dropped against his shoulder mumbling out about how not tired she is.

The two of you make your way to the car in silence. When you get to the car, you have to shift Nikki to one arm and hold him against you awkwardly to get the keys out of your jacket pocket. Dave offers to grab them for you, but you decline the help. It's a bit of a struggle, but you get them out nonetheless.

"Aha! See Dave, I told you I could get them," you say triumphantly just as Dave rolls his eyes and snatches them from you. "And I told you I'm driving home. You are the worst night driver ever, not to mention you look about ready to pass out with these munchkins," he reasons.

You stick your tongue out at him, "its not my fault other people's headlights glare on my glasses."

He pokes your tongue, "Put that back where it came from, you're teaching the kids bad habits." "Pffff, like you're one to talk Mr. Mouth of a Sailor," you pause and wink at him, "besides that's not you were saying last night when I.."

He cuts you off by covering your mouth with his hand. If the parking lot wasnt so oddly lit, you know you'd see a blush gracing his cheeks. You laugh at him, though its muffled by his hand. You lick at it and he takes it away.

"Alright, alright point taken. Let's just get them in the car so we can go home and fucking _sleep_ ," Dave replies with a yawn as he opens the car door.

That sounded like a fantastic plan. You walk around to the other side of the car to where Nikkis car seat is. When the doors are unlocked, you open the one in front of you before carefully lowering your son into his seat. Dave has the easy job of buckling Casey into her car seat. Since she had gotten too big for the toddler seat, you had upgraded her to the big kids seat. You secretly couldn't wait until Nikki didn't need to be strapped into this contraption anymore. You'd done it a million times, yet you still managed to mess it up somehow.

The drive home was pleasant. Even though you would never admit it out loud, Dave's driving always made you feel safe. It was definitely a good idea to have him drive, since you could feel yourself nodding off now and then. He was way more used to driving through the city at this time of night anyway.

By the time you get home, drag the kids out of the car and into their beds its already eleven at night. And you are beat. You pad into the bathroom where Dave has already taken command of the shower and grab your toothbrush off the holder.

"Don't you turn that water on for too long, Egbert, you know what that does to the hot water. Makes it disappear," he says through the shower curtain as if you didn't know.

"Yah," you squirt some toothpaste onto your brush, "wouldn't want the water to get too cold and have your dick shrink up would we?"

He chuckles at you, "you're an asshole, you know that?"

You grin as you run your brush under the faucet, "and yet you love me anyway. What a mystery."

"The biggest mystery is not how I love you, nor how you love me. But, how two of the biggest assholes got two of the best kids the world has ever seen."

You grin at that and start brushing your teeth, "that's true," you say around the toothpaste in your mouth, "how the hell do they put up with us?"

"Fuck if I know. Man, can you believe Casey got the lead? Ain't even a girl's part and she still managed. Fucking proud as dicks over here," he says voice brimming with pride.

"Speaking of dicks, what did you draw that you felt you couldn't share with the class at dinner?" You ask then bend over the sink to spit.

He's quiet for a moment, save for the sound of water splashing. He's probably washing his hair from the sounds of it.

"Well," he says as the water turns off, "I gotta say first of all that I'm both proud and disappointed with myself for the drawing I did tonight," you hear the shower curtain open and you see him grab the towel on the towel rack from the mirrors reflection.

"What'd you do?" You ask him before you tip the mouth wash into your mouth.

He steps out of the shower, towel wrapped around his lower half, and he's grinning at you. "Like I said I'm not exactly proud, but I do think I managed to capture the essence of our waitress just right."

You choke and spit your mouth wash out. You feel Dave pat your back. You turn to look at him, trying your best to look stern.

"You drew...our waitress...out of dicks?" You ask to make sure you're understanding correctly.

He steps closer to you and wraps his arms around your waist. He sticks his lower lip out in a fake pout.

"She was mean to me, John. How else was I to retaliate but to draw her portrait in the best way that represented her personality?"

"You drew her out of dicks because she wasn't going to give you crayons," you can't believe him.

He shrugs, "From the looks of her she's probably used to having dicks on her face anyway."

You can't help it. You burst out laughing. You rest your forehead against his shoulder as you do.

He holds you and you can feel him silently laughing with you. When you feel calm enough to speak you choke out, "Oh my God, Dave, you can't just draw people out of dicks."

He chuckles, and you feel him shrug again, "Oops?"

Another torrent of laughter shakes through you. You could always count on Dave to make you laugh no matter what kind of mood you were in. And you could always count on your family to make even the simplest of nights interesting and fun. And that's what you loved most about them all.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh wow what a sappy ending. Fucking -10 points for that. Also, how rude Dave, god.


End file.
